Ok... I'm a grown man. I am a father of 3 wonderful, beautiful girls. I have a very lovely and supportive wife, who takes me for my best and worst days. She has learned ( though her path has been painful ) to take me for all my quirks. Especially when I get on a rant about any subject. I have great acquaintances, and some very wonderful close and dear friends.
This year has been a year marked with highlights, some successes, some failures, and I have had the most wonderful opportunity to meet some very humanitarian type people and invite them into my heart as I hold them very close and dear to my life. I can only pray that this upcoming next year will be filled with opportunities to get to know some more people and really appreciate their value and worth in my life. NOW.. having said all of that, I shall proceed onto my rant...
How damn emotionally lazy have we become as a society of adults that when one person extends a sense of well being and cheer to reply with " Same to you "? Same to you? Same to me? SCREW THAT! Folks, to me, that is the equivalent of a man extending his hand out in friendship and another man just looking at him as though he were a leper. Where I come from, if a man extends his hand out in kindness or friendship, you had best shake that hand back. If you don't, you are insulting the man and might as well just spit in his face ( to which, you'd most likely end up getting into a tussle and one person is gonna get a few scrapes and bruises from it ).
I'm sorry, but if I tell a person " Merry Christmas " I mean it. Especially to those that know how cynical I am or have been of most holidays. I expect a damn " Merry Christmas to you as well " back. If you don't mean it, then tell me to go fuck off. I don't care. I'd much rather have that told to me, than " Same to you " or " Same to you and your family "...
That brings me to another point. Why is it now, that when we extend a greeting of well wishing around these holidays ( I'm speaking of the time frame from Thanksgiving to New Year's ) and we use words like " Merry Christmas " some people look at you as though you just told them you just raped their favorite stuffed toy or cat. I'm sorry, deal with it. We are in America, and in America, though as understanding we may try to be of other cultures, we still celebrate Christmas. This country was founded on people wanting to be free from religious persecution and prosecution. Christmas has the word Christ in it, and Christ is the center of Christianity ( which ever form you so choose to pick... Mormonism, Southern Baptist, Pentecostal, etc etc ).
I have spent Christmas in other parts of this wonderful country, and they have other holidays that coincide with it. For example, in Detroit, Michigan they also celebrate Kwanzaa. I don't know much about the holiday, why it is in existence, but while I was there, we had to be aware of it and respect it. I can tell you, that it is a mostly African American celebration. Cool. Great, I never noticed a huge difference surrounding Christmas with the influence of Kwanzaa.
So tell me this... because the United States of America is a country sworn and dedicated to give people the freedoms that our fore fathers fought for with their lives and spilt their blood to give us, to ensure we could pray to the Gods of our Faith free from persecution, we should be required to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, just to be politically correct? Why? You come to America from what ever country... to be what? Ultimately American right? So, you ultimately receive a driver's license or some form of identification issued to you by a representative entity of the United States Government correct? Correct. You enjoy the freedoms of getting to choose your career field or job, or where you want and can afford to live. These are all freedoms that we the people of this country get to enjoy. But yet, somehow I am expected to be weary of other people's feelings and emotions when it comes Christmas? SCREW THAT! I will not appease the masses and say Happy Holidays when what I truly mean is MERRY CHRISTMAS! I can guarantee that if any of us that are Anglo Saxon went to a different country of a different race and they celebrated a holiday that we didn't like or that we didn't understand or that was against our ethnic heritage, that said country wouldn't care. They'd look at us as the outsider and we should expect to be treated as such.
Society today as a whole, a whole folks, not individually, has become the great divide and eternal Grinch of the Christmas spirit. People just accept and fall into a slump of acceptance when it comes to being concerned about a person's feelings when it comes to certain holidays. You never hear anybody saying " Oh, we can't say Happy Valentine's Day anymore because Valentine's Day's mascot is a little fat kid running around in a toga, and wouldn't you know it, there is a little fat kid running around in a toga who has taken offense to it, so now we must call it " Happy I heart you day " "... What's next? Halloween. I can just see it now. " Folks.. we can't say Happy Halloween anymore, because there was dead spirit who got all offended because he didn't get enough candy ( or SOME other ridiculous buffalo chip excuse ).. so now, we are going to call it Happy Orange Gourd Day "
Do I sound like I am going too far? Perhaps so, however, sit back and look folks. This is where it's going to. Oh dear god, don't even get me started on Happy New Year.. Nope, soon, if we allow it, we will no longer be able to say that either. We will have to say Happy 12 MONTHS, or Happy 52 weeks, or Happy 26 payche... wait, can't say that right now, for some, the economy is so bad, they can't really say that they will get 26 pay checks in the next 12 months.. my bad. OOPS.
Anyways, my point being... if someone says Merry Christmas to you, say it back. Even if you don't mean it. Be a civil adult and muster up the nuts to just say it. Get over it. You expect me to respect your wishes and beliefs, well dammit, respect mine.
Merry Christmas everybody.... I love each and everyone of you. I mean that, in all sincerity.
My thoughts, trials, tribulations, and achievements that have gotten me to where I am now
2011-09-28
My Exploding Mind!!!!!
**** DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER**** ( This entry is not directed to ANYONE in particular, AND furthermore, the writer is making no claims of perfection or free from guile with regards to the statements made within this subject blog )
Many people will come and go into our lives. A few, however, will remain. Those that remain are our choice primarily, and their choice secondly. This is a 2 part equation. A give and take. Reason A: Because we CHOOSE to keep these individuals in our lives at a level higher than just a mere acquaintance. Reason B: Something about us has caused these individuals to want to keep us in their lives.
The rest of the people, come and go like a passerby in the grocery store, or at the hair salon, or at your local restaurant. We may notice them for awhile, then POOF, they are out of our sights, and thus, eventually, out of our minds.
However, those that we keep in our lives; those that are more to us than a mere stranger passing us by, will all have their unique intricacies. We choose to keep them in our lives, amist any or ALL of their problems. This is the basis of this post. And so, I will keep this latter statement as a focal point of the rest of this entry.
So then, why is it, people will become our friends, close or not, and then get upset or change the level of friendship because they don't like the way you truly are? I think a lot of people use the term " friend " loosely because either A) they are not comfortable with calling someone an acquaintance, or B) they don't want to seem or appear demeaning by only calling someone an acquaintance. Would this occur if being a friend is to accept a person for who they truly are? To me it is.
To me, a friend is someone you can tell your biggest problems to, and they will not judge you. They will listen to you when you need it the most, and they will help you out at a moments notice. Also, they know that you will reciprocate the same towards them when they call upon you, and that you will do so lovingly and without question of what you will gain from helping them out.
When we choose to keep certain individuals in our lives, it could be for several reasons. We like the way they dress, the way they make us feel, they way the interact with us, they are funny, they are smart, they are, as we used to say in the late 80's-early 90's, " cool " ( haha, who remembers using that word as a term of endearment to people we hung out with? ), they may have the same religious, economic, or political affirmations that we have; and so on and so on. The list truly can be endless.
Lets take the religious reason as an example of thought, but not the only reason of explanation. Lets presume you enjoy the company of Suzy Homemaker because she goes to the same church you go to faithfully, every week. Now, all of the sudden, for whatever reason Suzy decides to stop going to church. Does your friendship with Suzy change now because she no longer goes to church faithfully, or do you look past that aspect and continue to visit with her and her family, or have them over for supper/games/etc etc because your friendship is based deeper than a once a week meeting?
What is bothering me, and is the general idea of this blog is that people now-a-days are getting to the point that they would have stopped being a friend to Suzy because she stopped going to church. Why? Because she no longer shares in the same ideas that you possess? So, then, was she truly ever a FRIEND, or was she just an acquaintance?
We have all had a person in our live that we called a friend. Then for whatever reason, we have had to regrettably stop the consistency of that friendship ( ie jobs require people to move, marriages, high school is over, college is over, etc etc ). Yet, we truly find out how deeply these people are our friends when you can get back together after 6 months, 1 year, 10 years of separation from a particular person and pick everything back up as if they were only gone away from your life for only 2 days. To me, that is true definition of a friend.
I know I am not perfect. I try to be, and I have my weaknesses, and I am publicly admitting that. However, I try my hardest to be the friend to those that I choose to keep in my life that I have spoken about in the previous paragraphs. I'm not seeking out for an applause, I'm trying to explain where I am coming from as well. So that, you the reader can call me out on it if I am failing.
A true friend can do that. They can call you out when you are making mistakes and you, as a good friend to them, should have the moral fortitude to be able to look back and see if what they are saying is true or not. Yet, would it be " calling out " as we all understand that phrase to be, or would be a checking in on someone to see if everything is alright with them? Perhaps they are going through a rough patch in their life, and so the situation is causing them to be unhappy/rude/ignorant/etc etc.
A true friend will not lie to you to make themselves feel better about themselves. However, isn't it the point of having a true friend to have a person in your life that will except you for who you are? What further annoys me is when you have someone who claims to be your friend, they take you for all your good and all your bad, and then change the friendship because they don't like your bad later on down the road.
I know I have a lot of acquaintances in my life, and I have very few friends. The friends that I do have in my life have been called that and held to that level of respect by my own doing. If they choose to not reciprocate that level of respect towards me, then I personally down grade their status to acquaintance, as it were.
Why is it people will hold to a higher standard when it comes to being their friend, or to even have us in their life, and we meet their " criteria " to be considered a friend, but yet they don't hold themselves to the exact same standards towards us, that they expect us to be towards them? To me, that is hypocritical.
As I sat and pondered the points that I wanted to make in this post, and trying to get my feelings out on this subject ( to which, I apologize to you reader if it seems as though I have whooped a dead horse repeatedly by now ); I was trying to think of an analogy that could be used to kind of bring it all into light and perspective. Perhaps people don't see how they treat others, because, lets be honest, it's hard to see the forest through the trees. One example that I came up with in my head was the following:
Lets pretend for argument's sake that you met an individual that was upright, walked, always wore pants, even in the hottest of hot days in the summer, always wore tennis shoes, and seemed like an upstanding individual. You get to know this individual after months and months and a bond is forged. A friendship is formed. Months go by, this individual and yourself have gotten the families together for a BBQ, or gone out to eat, whatever the case may be. Then after almost a year of building a friendship and bond, this individual comes over and is wearing shorts, and you notice that they have prosthetic legs or them new metal ones that are being used by current war veterans.
It is safe to presume that there will be a feeling of betrayal and mistrust now because this individual has never once spoken of their prosthetic legs until now. So now what happens? On one side of the coin, it could be presumed that their will now be judgments made toward this person, not wanting to hang out around them because you may be weird-ed out by this new discovery of information, so on and so on. But lets look at it from the individuals side as well. Why didn't they tell you before hand? Perhaps its because they didn't want to be treated like a cripple, or judged incorrectly, or even have had an issue be made because they have prosthetic legs. Now, what they have been trying for so long to avoid happens. Does the friendship and bond change? It very well could. Should it based on this new discovery of the individual? ABSOLUTELY NOT! You didn't learn to love and appreciate this individual because of their legs, or lack there of; but you learned to love them because of who they are. This is what I'm talking about folks. There was obviously a relationship built on the basis of who the person is, not what the person has or doesn't have extremity wise.
In closing out this blog segment, I wish to add in as a reminder, that I am in no way claiming to be perfect. I have my faults, just as everyone else does. As a friend, I do honestly attempt and try my best to be the friend towards others as I would want to have in my life. The golden rule if you will. I wish to publicly thank my wife, without whom I would never understand truly what it means to have a best friend or good friend. She has tried tirelessly to keep me in line, but I like to color outside the lines from time to time. She seems to somehow keep being able to erase my coloring outside the line mistakes and rears me back in. She truly is a wonderful woman and I love her very much.
To all my friends, I truly do love each and everyone of you, and I have made the mental choice to have you as a part of my life for each intricacy that makes you YOU. Please be good to each other, and respect one another.
Many people will come and go into our lives. A few, however, will remain. Those that remain are our choice primarily, and their choice secondly. This is a 2 part equation. A give and take. Reason A: Because we CHOOSE to keep these individuals in our lives at a level higher than just a mere acquaintance. Reason B: Something about us has caused these individuals to want to keep us in their lives.
The rest of the people, come and go like a passerby in the grocery store, or at the hair salon, or at your local restaurant. We may notice them for awhile, then POOF, they are out of our sights, and thus, eventually, out of our minds.
However, those that we keep in our lives; those that are more to us than a mere stranger passing us by, will all have their unique intricacies. We choose to keep them in our lives, amist any or ALL of their problems. This is the basis of this post. And so, I will keep this latter statement as a focal point of the rest of this entry.
So then, why is it, people will become our friends, close or not, and then get upset or change the level of friendship because they don't like the way you truly are? I think a lot of people use the term " friend " loosely because either A) they are not comfortable with calling someone an acquaintance, or B) they don't want to seem or appear demeaning by only calling someone an acquaintance. Would this occur if being a friend is to accept a person for who they truly are? To me it is.
To me, a friend is someone you can tell your biggest problems to, and they will not judge you. They will listen to you when you need it the most, and they will help you out at a moments notice. Also, they know that you will reciprocate the same towards them when they call upon you, and that you will do so lovingly and without question of what you will gain from helping them out.
When we choose to keep certain individuals in our lives, it could be for several reasons. We like the way they dress, the way they make us feel, they way the interact with us, they are funny, they are smart, they are, as we used to say in the late 80's-early 90's, " cool " ( haha, who remembers using that word as a term of endearment to people we hung out with? ), they may have the same religious, economic, or political affirmations that we have; and so on and so on. The list truly can be endless.
Lets take the religious reason as an example of thought, but not the only reason of explanation. Lets presume you enjoy the company of Suzy Homemaker because she goes to the same church you go to faithfully, every week. Now, all of the sudden, for whatever reason Suzy decides to stop going to church. Does your friendship with Suzy change now because she no longer goes to church faithfully, or do you look past that aspect and continue to visit with her and her family, or have them over for supper/games/etc etc because your friendship is based deeper than a once a week meeting?
What is bothering me, and is the general idea of this blog is that people now-a-days are getting to the point that they would have stopped being a friend to Suzy because she stopped going to church. Why? Because she no longer shares in the same ideas that you possess? So, then, was she truly ever a FRIEND, or was she just an acquaintance?
We have all had a person in our live that we called a friend. Then for whatever reason, we have had to regrettably stop the consistency of that friendship ( ie jobs require people to move, marriages, high school is over, college is over, etc etc ). Yet, we truly find out how deeply these people are our friends when you can get back together after 6 months, 1 year, 10 years of separation from a particular person and pick everything back up as if they were only gone away from your life for only 2 days. To me, that is true definition of a friend.
I know I am not perfect. I try to be, and I have my weaknesses, and I am publicly admitting that. However, I try my hardest to be the friend to those that I choose to keep in my life that I have spoken about in the previous paragraphs. I'm not seeking out for an applause, I'm trying to explain where I am coming from as well. So that, you the reader can call me out on it if I am failing.
A true friend can do that. They can call you out when you are making mistakes and you, as a good friend to them, should have the moral fortitude to be able to look back and see if what they are saying is true or not. Yet, would it be " calling out " as we all understand that phrase to be, or would be a checking in on someone to see if everything is alright with them? Perhaps they are going through a rough patch in their life, and so the situation is causing them to be unhappy/rude/ignorant/etc etc.
A true friend will not lie to you to make themselves feel better about themselves. However, isn't it the point of having a true friend to have a person in your life that will except you for who you are? What further annoys me is when you have someone who claims to be your friend, they take you for all your good and all your bad, and then change the friendship because they don't like your bad later on down the road.
I know I have a lot of acquaintances in my life, and I have very few friends. The friends that I do have in my life have been called that and held to that level of respect by my own doing. If they choose to not reciprocate that level of respect towards me, then I personally down grade their status to acquaintance, as it were.
Why is it people will hold to a higher standard when it comes to being their friend, or to even have us in their life, and we meet their " criteria " to be considered a friend, but yet they don't hold themselves to the exact same standards towards us, that they expect us to be towards them? To me, that is hypocritical.
As I sat and pondered the points that I wanted to make in this post, and trying to get my feelings out on this subject ( to which, I apologize to you reader if it seems as though I have whooped a dead horse repeatedly by now ); I was trying to think of an analogy that could be used to kind of bring it all into light and perspective. Perhaps people don't see how they treat others, because, lets be honest, it's hard to see the forest through the trees. One example that I came up with in my head was the following:
Lets pretend for argument's sake that you met an individual that was upright, walked, always wore pants, even in the hottest of hot days in the summer, always wore tennis shoes, and seemed like an upstanding individual. You get to know this individual after months and months and a bond is forged. A friendship is formed. Months go by, this individual and yourself have gotten the families together for a BBQ, or gone out to eat, whatever the case may be. Then after almost a year of building a friendship and bond, this individual comes over and is wearing shorts, and you notice that they have prosthetic legs or them new metal ones that are being used by current war veterans.
It is safe to presume that there will be a feeling of betrayal and mistrust now because this individual has never once spoken of their prosthetic legs until now. So now what happens? On one side of the coin, it could be presumed that their will now be judgments made toward this person, not wanting to hang out around them because you may be weird-ed out by this new discovery of information, so on and so on. But lets look at it from the individuals side as well. Why didn't they tell you before hand? Perhaps its because they didn't want to be treated like a cripple, or judged incorrectly, or even have had an issue be made because they have prosthetic legs. Now, what they have been trying for so long to avoid happens. Does the friendship and bond change? It very well could. Should it based on this new discovery of the individual? ABSOLUTELY NOT! You didn't learn to love and appreciate this individual because of their legs, or lack there of; but you learned to love them because of who they are. This is what I'm talking about folks. There was obviously a relationship built on the basis of who the person is, not what the person has or doesn't have extremity wise.
In closing out this blog segment, I wish to add in as a reminder, that I am in no way claiming to be perfect. I have my faults, just as everyone else does. As a friend, I do honestly attempt and try my best to be the friend towards others as I would want to have in my life. The golden rule if you will. I wish to publicly thank my wife, without whom I would never understand truly what it means to have a best friend or good friend. She has tried tirelessly to keep me in line, but I like to color outside the lines from time to time. She seems to somehow keep being able to erase my coloring outside the line mistakes and rears me back in. She truly is a wonderful woman and I love her very much.
To all my friends, I truly do love each and everyone of you, and I have made the mental choice to have you as a part of my life for each intricacy that makes you YOU. Please be good to each other, and respect one another.
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